Afternoon Post, August 23, 2020

The law was here an hour or two ago.  Wantin’ to know about that car that’s been parked over there by them trees. Been there for days.  I didn’t know how it got there, I told them.  They asked if I’d been drivin’ the thing and I told ‘em no.  They said they had a witness.  No, they had witnesses, they said. Had me drivin’ that thing down in town the other day.  Well, I said, I might of had it out just for a spin.  The keys was in the damn thing.  Just settin’ there, by them trees, keys hangin’ in the ignition.  Who wouldn’t of taken it out? I’d forgot about doin’ that, I told ‘em. I could of been drunk, I said.

They was two cops. Deputies, really.  One of them was rubbin’ me the wrong way, actin’ like they knew I stole the damn thing.  I don’t know nothin’ about it, I said.  Whose car it is.  Nothin’.  Wouldn’t want the damn thing, I said.  Hell, if I was gonna steal a car, go to all that trouble, I’d of got me something better than that. Make it worth my time, I said. One of ‘em laughed at that.  The other one just kept on me.  Wouldn’t let up. I don’t even know who owns that property over there anymore. Ain’t nobody lived in that house for twenty years, I told ’em.

I think that feller that laughed at my joke might be related to old Gary Watson up at Ashford.

They wanted to know where I was Saturday night. My whereabouts, they called it. Told them I couldn’t remember right off, but I might of been huntin’ all night.  They asked me what was in season and I told ‘em I was a’huntin’ coyotes.  There ain’t no season for them mongrels.  You can shoot ‘em all year round.  Any time of day. There’s plenty of ‘em around and they’re a damned nuisance.

Who was you with, they wanted to know.  Said I don’t remember that either.  Sometimes I drink when I’m in the woods. Particularly at night.  Particularly if it’s cold.  There’s some boys around here that I hunt with, but I don’t know if any of ‘em was with me Saturday night, if I was out in the woods. People come and go at night.  None of us makes plans. You never know who’s gonna be up on that ridge of an evening, dogs a runnin’.  Who might it a been, they asked me. Give us names of who it might of been.  I don’t know, I said. Could of been anybody.  Just can’t remember right now.

Where’s the keys?  They asked me.  You got the keys here in the house? Far as I know them keys is still out there still in the ignition.  They ain’t there, they said.  Could we look in your house here? No, I told ‘em.  You ain’t got no warrant and I ain’t about to let you go diggin’ around in my house.  My family home, for cryin’ out loud. Ain’t about to do it.  Man’s home is his castle, I said. We can get a warrant, they told me.  Be back out here in an hour.  You go right on ahead, I said.  Go right ahead.  That’s the last I said to ‘em.  They ain’t been back. Maybe they’re comin’.  I don’t know.  Cops talk big sometimes. Try to put fear in you.  They come back here they ain’t gonna find no keys in this house.  Them keys is still in the ignition out there.  I checked right after they left.  There they was, just hangin’ there in the ignition, like before. 

Why would they of lied to me about a thing like that?

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